You’ve had another row. You’re both in tears. One of you slams the door on your way out. Both of you have had enough. Can it be fixed? Maybe. But you have to both want to work toward building your relationship back up. Are you spending more time speaking in anger at each other instead of whispering words of love, support, and encouragement? You might be wondering if it is even worth saving it at all.

Many people are separate for several months or even a year before they call in the Divorce Mediation team. In this time apart one or both of you may be hoping that the space between you will help build the bridges to bring you back to each other. That’s not really how relationships work. Sure, you need to cool down after a row. But if time apart is merely increasing that void between you, then maybe it truly is over.

 

 

Ending a relationship formally with divorce can help breathe fresh air into your life. When a relationship weighs heavily and stifles your independence, it isn’t healthy. A good relationship thrives on the coming together of two independent lives. They should find strength from each other. An unhealthy relationship is one that fails to encourage the independent growth of each member. All humans will change over the years. If your relationship can’t grow positively with that change, then it is unlikely to survive.

Can a relationship be saved that has been steadily falling apart? Yes, but both of you have to want it enough to work hard at it. As humans, we will all make mistakes. And sometimes we take each other for granted, fall into bad habits, and forget why we’re together. One big effort to fix it won’t be enough. You both need to trust each other that you will continue to check in on the relationship and nurture it to keep it strong.

If you’re not in a place where working on this relationship is right for you, then it is time to move on. To stay happy and healthy, you need to take care of you. And you may have children that you need to take care of too. A difficult, unpleasant break-up will do none of you any good at all. Instead, make a clear and committed decision to split, and begin immediately to forge a new, more positive live for yourselves.

There is no need to be unpleasant when it comes to divorce. Of course, the whole process might feel completely horrible! Instead, choose a good mediation team that can help you and your ex come to an agreement quickly and easily. Assure your children that they will always come first and that you both love them equally. The chances are that even joint custody means one parent will be around more than the other. Don’t feel jealous or resentful at the time your ex gets with the kids. Treat the situation how you would hope your ex will. Most importantly, take care of you and don’t let the tough times stop you from achieving what you want.

 

Image Credit: Broken Heart

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