Most of you would know that strange, unstable feeling that overwhelms you not long after you’ve met that gorgeous guy. You share a connection, things really go great on your first few dates and suddenly you can’t eat.

You walk around with a goofy grin spread across your face as you think about the words he said to you. You constantly relive each moment of your dates in your mind, watching them play out again and again like video replay. You know you’re falling for this wonderful guy and it’s a great feeling.

Are You Killing Your Relationships Before They Even Begin?

When you’re feeling this rush of euphoria, there is a chemical cocktail of hormones triggered within your brain that acts as a sort of filter. It allows you to see this man as even better looking than he really is. It allows you to block out any faults or annoying habits he’s shown so far.

One these feel-good love chemicals racing through your body is Serotonin, which can also trigger a similar, although temporary, effect to people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. This could explain why people in love can’t think about anything else besides their partner for the first few months until those hormones settle down.


What These Hormones Do To Your New Relationship

Women are biologically designed to seek out a partner who will be a good provider and father for her off-spring. When you meet someone who triggers those sub-conscious impulses within you that mean you’re attracted to him and you really enjoy his company, your body will release serotonin, dopamine, oxytocins and plenty more besides.

You know you’ve found yourself a good catch with this new guy, and when you’re not together you begin thinking about moving your dating activities into something a little more permanent. You begin thinking about ways to get him to commit to you rather than dating on a casual basis. You daydream about your future together. In fact, you’ve probably even allowed your mental video-replay to imagine what your wedding would be like.

In your mental video-replay, the relationship between you and your new man has progressed far beyond just a couple of friendly dates. You’re already falling for this guy and you’re waiting for him to tell you how much he likes you too.

Unfortunately, men don’t think the same way as women. While they do feel love and they do experience a rush of hormones through their own bodies, they’re completely different hormones that will result in completely different reactions and outcomes.

They’re more likely to experience extra doses of testosterone, that tell them to be a good provider and work harder. So he’ll focus more on work than on the relationship.


When It All Goes Wrong

Unfortunately, the next time the two of you meet, you’re anxious and worried that he’s not falling for you the way you’ve already fallen for him. This shows in your less confident manner and your less happy attitude around him.

Your new man will begin thinking that you no longer like him as much as you did, so he’ll be likely to pull away in self-defence, not wanting to get close to someone who doesn’t seem to enjoy his company so much anymore.

If you’re like most women, you’ll begin to try harder to get him to like you. You’ll call him or text him or try to get him to talk to you, but it seems he’s not returning any of your calls. Many women panic at this stage and bombard their man with even more calls and messages, just trying to get him to respond.

When he does finally speak to you, you’re unhappy and searching for answers that he doesn’t know how to provide. All he sees is that the once happy, fun, confident girl he was starting to fall for has changed into something else.

Your man sees this kind of behavior as desperate and needy, which is a big turn off, and it pushes him even further away from you.


Dealing With Chemistry During Early Relationships

It’s not easy, but there some things you can do to stop this flood of completely normal hormones from ruining a new relationship. Perhaps the most important is to work on ways to continue living your own life as normally as possible.

Spend time enjoying your friends and social activities away from your new man. Take time out to have some fun with your hobbies or interests. Work on things that make you feel good, like doing your hair or buying a new outfit.

Most importantly, get some exercise into your daily routine. It will help tone you up a little, which will make you look and feel good about yourself and keep your confidence levels high.

These things won’t take your mind off of him completely during that early, exciting stage of a relationship, but they really will help you to regulate them so you won’t risk falling into negative territory that neither of you will enjoy.


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